Friday, October 28, 2011

NEW BEGINNINGS.

So, I am not going to make any more promises about how I am about to "start blogging everyday" because that only seems to make my blogging track record that much worse... hahaha. But anyway, my last post was about my birthday and all the changes going on in my life. And I am happy to report that for the first time in months, or years maybe, I am completely in control of my own life and I am at peace about it. I have let go of the sadness, resentment and self-defeating attitude that had been lingering in my subconscious since the dissolution of my marriage. I have been trying to "be" the change that I want to occur in my life... And I finally feel like I am free of the depression, darkness, fear, and guilt that have plagued me for years. It feels like an amazing weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I am on a journey toward self-acceptance, self-improvement, self-discipline, and enlightenment. I am trying to shed my jaded, suspicious, disillusioned approach to reality and rekindle my "joie de vivre." I have felt for some time now, that the older I get, the less I am sure of... So I am finally being honest with myself, for once, in hopes that I can (re)discover my true authentic self as it relates to my core- beliefs, needs, hopes/desires. I am trying to find the balance between doing what is right and living each day to its fullest... Ok. Enough psycho-babble. I am probably not making sense anymore, anyway, lol. But its 2:49 in the morning and that means its bed time for me. I am loving this song by Amanda Palmer of Dresden Dolls:

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